Chatham-Kent is preparing to put its gloves on for a new round of marketing, with news last week that an as-yet-unnamed group is backing an initiative to get the attention of Canada’s largest city.
We’re about to charge into the heart of Toronto with a campaign called “Not Toronto.” It’s supposed to be edgy and bold. If what we’ve heard so far is true, those terms may not quite do it justice.
The idea is to convince the city-dwellers that Chatham-Kent is a better place to live than, well, Toronto. We’re going to do that by holding an event in their backyard in which we show GTA’ers just how bad they have it. Our mayor’s on board to take part.
We don’t usually think of Mayor Randy Hope as being “delicate,” but unless he has the nerves of a bomb disposal squad veteran, this could end up in a big “kaboom.”
If we’re going to pick a fight, we suppose taking on the biggest city in the country has some merit. If we win, no one else is going to mess with us, and if we lose, well, no one thought we’d win anyway.
We wish the mayor and his backers all the luck, but if Torontonians take offence to our gentle nudging about their dreary existence, here are some additional reasons we’re a better place to hang your ball cap.
• We have as many Stanley Cups as you do this century.
• We’re the destination of choice for religious refugees.
• We’ve been Beiber-free for like, forever.
• Anyone under 70 is a young-un.
• There are no hills to climb.
• The grass is really greener – the lake too, sometimes, but that’s another story.
• All the free firewood you want is piled along the 401.
• When people bare their teeth here, it’s called a smile.
And the topper:
• We didn’t elect Rob Ford.