It’s slice and dice time

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The hip bones, connected to...well mostly metal now
The hip bones, connected to…well mostly metal now

Just a quick column this week, as I am literally writing this hours before surgery.

They pushed the slice, saw, grind and pound back a few hours, which was fine by me. I like mornings, but not really early mornings (and my wife and daughter aren’t morning fans at all).

What does someone do the final weekend before hip surgery? House prep.

I did some serious laundry, selfishly focusing on my stuff, built a couple of risers to I could elevate the lift chair I was fortunate enough to obtain – thanks Andrea – so that it’s tall enough for me to sit in. One of the important things about recovering from hip surgery is to not break the 90-degree angle between thigh and torso. If you get any tighter than that, you risk dislocating the joint – not good.

So I think I’m set at home.

My wife is going to have her patience tested as I recover. I don’t envy her. I’m a grumpy middle-aged man at the best of times. I’ll try to keep that in my drug-hazed mind.

Hopefully we’ve got the house set up to make it as easy as possible.

One thing I did was a little prep cooking – well prep Egging. We’ve got pulled pork and bacon-wrapped pork loin in the freezer. It’s in meal-sized packages, so we should be good for at least a few nights.

I’m sure I will go into barbecue withdrawal in short order, however. I may have to beg Sensei Jeff to hook me up with some chow now and again. I’ll just point him to the beverage fridge.

I have to thank Sensei’s wife, Tammy, for helping get me organized around the house for my recovery. Great woman.

I am turning this column space over to Mary Beth for at least a week. As I mentioned last week, she can’t wait for a chance to write about me for once. I’m sure you’ll hear about my rantings as I’m under the influence of heavy pain meds.

It’s payback time.

Mary Beth’s Revenge

That’s right, it’s my turn to tell you all about Bruce and everything (well, maybe not everything) he does from week to week while he recovers from hip replacement surgery.

I mostly laugh about nothing being sacred and people always knowing what we are doing in embarassing detail. Sometimes, though, there are just things a woman doesn’t want the whole community to know.

Now, however, I can describe Bruce’s post-surgery rantings while under the influence.

Actually, there were no rantings, just a lot of tongue sticking out and a strange fascination with his thumb.

As for Bruce, as I write this, he is doing just fine.

For everyone who has been so kind and genuinely concerned for him, his surgery Monday went well thanks to Dr. Stone and the surgical team at the Chatham Kent Health Alliance.

Special thanks to Magic Mike, his pre-op nurse who has a fantastic sense of humour and helps relax patients before they go under the knife. Ironically, Mike was the same pre-op nurse I had for my endoscope.

His hip, apparently, was a bit of a mess, but he now has a brand new one and if he does everything he’s told, he should be back on his feet and telling you way too much information in no time.

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