This is a bit tongue-in-cheek, but here’s the reality of a typical interpretation of the police news these days. These are events that have happened in the past 24 hours. The traditional reporting appears at the bottom.
Warrants (Makes me think of the 1980s band, Warrant)
Someone actually turned themselves into the police!
A guy walked into the cop shop Thursday afternoon.
Police say he was wanted on something called a “surety-relief warrant.”
Meanwhile an officer scooped up a woman early this morning wanted for doing some bad stuff and not showing up to court to answer to it.
Both the guy, 31, and the woman, 27, spent some time behind bars before having their bail hearings.
With the way the courts are not operating these days, you know they’ll be out on the street shortly after you read this, if they aren’t already.
Some tool stole some tools in Dresden
Earlier this week, some chucklehead got into a house under construction in Dresden and stole a bunch of tools.
Router, compressor, saws, screw gun, even the radio – all stolen.
The dude made off with more than three grand worth of tools and stuff.
If you want to rat out the thief, and why not, because he’s stealing other people’s stuff, contact Const. Jennifer Jacobson at 519-436-6600, ext. 87212. Or dial up Crime Stoppers and maybe you’ll get some cash for your info: 1-800-222-TIPS (8477).
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OK, time for the real police briefs:
Executed Warrants
Yesterday afternoon, a man wanted on a surety-relief warrant attended police headquarters and turned himself in.
The 31-year-old Chatham man was arrested and additionally charged with failing to comply with his house arrest conditions earlier this week. He has been held in custody pending a bail hearing.
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Around 2:30 this morning, police located a woman on Grand Avenue East in Chatham who was wanted for mischief, failing to comply with her release conditions and failing to attend court.
The 27-year-old Chatham woman was arrested and has been held in custody pending a bail hearing.
Theft of tools
Sometime late Monday night or early Tuesday morning, someone entered a new home under construction on Davies Street in Dresden.
Once inside, the thieves stole the following tools, all marked with the initials “EXD”:
– Milwaukee router
– Porter-Cable hinge
– Senco air compressor
– Milwaukee cordless saw
– Milwaukee radio
– DeWalt 10” table saw
– Milwaukee sawzall
Additional tools marked with the initials of “DV” were also stolen:
– DeWalt drywall cordless screw gun
– Drywall pouch with various small tools
– Mastercraft tool bag
Total value of the theft has been estimated at $3,300.
Anyone with information is asked to contact Const. Jennifer Jacobson at 519-436-6600 ext. 87212. Anonymous callers may call Crime Stoppers at 1-800-222-TIPS (8477) and may be eligible for a cash reward.
