Silly cop calls of 2018

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The Chatham-Kent Police Service tries to educate citizens about the importance of calling police when they observe crimes, suspicious activities, or have concerns that may be criminal in nature.

On occasion, people call police in situations that don’t quite fit into these categories.

The police service has documented its top 10 list of strange or silly calls of 2018.

  1. A man went into his garage and noticed that his gun locker had been pried open and several long guns missing.

After calling police, the victim noticed a man walking away from his house… wearing the victim’s coat.

The caller hopped in his car and drove towards the thief, who actually flagged him down to ask for a ride!

Police arrived, arrested the thief and recovered the firearms and the victim’s coat.

  1. We all want to be good neighbours and help those in need. But what about at 1 a.m.?

A caller advised police that a stranger came to his door at 1 a.m. The stranger explained he was out for a walk, and asked if he could use the man’s microwave to heat up the food he was carrying.

  1. A man who has had several dealings with police attended the courthouse. Because of his frequency, it can be assumed he was familiar with the routine and well aware of the security screening at the front door.

Too bad he forgot to check his backpack before officers did. Inside were cheques stolen during a recent commercial break and enter.

The man advised he was “carrying them for a friend.”

  1. Police were called to a gas station regarding a man who had pumped gas, but didn’t have any money to pay.

The man was kind enough to wait with the store clerk until police arrived – which was odd considering the man was driving a stolen vehicle from London.

Perhaps the man wanted to ensure the vehicle was returned to the owner with a full tank.

  1. A suspicious man was seen going door to door on a residential street, trying door handles at 2:30 a.m. At one particular house, however, he was startled when the homeowner opened the door.

What did he want? A can opener apparently – but he forgot the can.

  1. Committing break and enters during the winter months has its own set of problems, besides the obvious “it’s not legal” part.

After pulling into a snow-filled driveway of a rural home, a man tried to break into the house. Unfortunately he wasn’t counting on a resident being home.

The man fled back to his vehicle, which his accomplice had gotten stuck in the snow.

The pair was able to free the car, but not before the homeowner obtained the plate. The pair was located a short distance away and arrested.

  1. When officers arrested an intoxicated woman in Wallaceburg, she flung herself onto the front of the cruiser, opened her mouth and dragged her teeth across the hood of the car.

She clamped down so hard she was able to scrape the paint and clear coat completely off.

Good teeth, or a good dentist? In either case, she was charged with mischief.

  1. Police were called about a suspicious person who was loitering outside a business in Chatham, asking passers-by for cigarettes. The ‘person’ was wearing a dark coat and scarf across their face.

When asked to identify themselves, a high-pitched voice provided a female’s name. He/she had even stuffed their coat to appear to have womanly curves.

However, when the scarf was removed, the apparent woman had a thick bushy moustache.

The man was well known to police and known to uses aliases, however, this was the first female name he had tried. Perhaps because he was out past his court appointed curfew…

  1. Parishioners had a special treat one Sunday morning when a man wandered into the church, walked directly to the piano, sat down and started playing a jazzy rendition of Happy Birthday.

He was asked to leave. Officers found him in the back of the church and after a scuffle were able to cuff him. He was charged with disturbing a religious service.

  1. Imagine the surprise of a business owner when he arrived at work first thing in the morning to find a naked man wandering around inside. Police attended, and after viewing the surveillance video, the eventful night was revealed.

It turns out the man was initially clothed when he entered an insecure door and waited patiently in front of the “wait to be seated” sign … for 20 minutes. When he got no service, the man went to the bar and appeared to be engaged in a lengthy and animated conversation with a bartender (who was not there) and ate appetizers from a non-existent plate.

Then the party really got underway, as the man was seen engaging in an interpretive chicken dance during which he eventually stripped down to his birthday suit; which is the state he was in when the business owner and police arrived.

There was nothing stolen, but a great party was had by one!

Just When You Thought You’d Seen it All

An officer walking through police headquarters parking lot was surprised to locate a man that he was very familiar with, barbecuing chicken and ham … on the employee’s barbecue at 8 a.m. in the morning.

When confronted, he summarily fired the officers who advised him to take his food elsewhere.

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