This past year, I have felt like an automobile. I was up on the hoist getting improvements to my frame last March with my hip replacement, and now the muffler doctor checked on my emission system
Dr. Adam Fehr went where only two others (both physicians) have gone before…up my exhaust pipe.
That’s right, I had a colonoscopy recently, with the good doctor tasked to check out my colon.
Three polyps chopped off and a follow up appointment is booked to chat about the view…and the results. OK, maybe just the results.
For people over age 50, if you have not had a colonoscopy, I suggest you book one. Get your colon looked at to make sure all is well. As Eddie Murphy once said, “A healthy colon is the key to life.”
Two people I knew when I was in my mid-40s developed colon cancer. They were both younger than me. That prompted me to get my first colonoscopy.
I had a second about seven years later, where the doc at that time found a couple of polyps about the size of a pencil eraser. He removed them, got them biopsied and all was well. However, I was to get a follow up scope done in three years time.
Then Covid hit and that all got delayed. Finally, I got back on track and got in to see Dr. Fehr who eventually got to see me up close and personal, so to speak.
The procedure is a cakewalk. It’s the preparation that kind of stinks. Well, it does stink.
The day before a person is to get scoped, you can’t eat anything solid, and can’t drink any red or purple liquids.
But you will be drinking a lot of fluids. A lot.
That’s because you have to flush out your system with the help of a NASA-like laxative: Purg-Odan. This stuff can warm up the cold water in which you mix it. Imagine what it does to your insides.
No, it’s not harmful, but it certainly encourages you to, uhh, empty out your system.
My orders were to take the first packet at 2 p.m., followed by five or six glasses of water or Gatorade, or ginger ale or apple juice, etc.
I chugged back the glass of Purg-Odan. Given the after taste, it was easy to want to drink something else.
I hydrated the heck out of myself during my Purg-O Purge, let me tell you. It did the trick.
Same deal at 6 p.m. and again at 6 a.m. the day of the procedure.
My colonoscopy was scheduled for 2:15 p.m., so I was to arrive two hours before. The staff in the endoscopy suite at the Chatham-Kent Health Alliance are just plain awesome, by the way. I arrived, got changed into a gown, sat down, answered some questions, got my IV, and chilled out as I waited for my turn.
When it came, I was whisked on my bed straight into the procedure room. I turned on my side and was told to enjoy my sleep. I recall worrying that the pillow didn’t seem like it would support my head as I laid on my side. Next thing I knew, I was on my way into the recovery room.
I am sure it was a short “nap,” as I looked at the clock and it wasn’t even 2 p.m. yet. I can’t exactly recall the time I was rolled into the procedure room, but it was likely sometime around 1:30 p.m.
By 2:30 p.m., I was headed out of the building under my own power. I was not allowed to drive, but the amazing Mary Beth was there to pick me up and take me home.
After a bowl of soup and some crackers – it’s best to eat light after what your gastro-intestinal system has been through – it was nap time again…all before 4 p.m.
In the old days, as in when I had my first procedure probably 12 years ago, they pumped a lot of air or carbon dioxide into your colon to see everything. Patients could not leave the recovery room until they passed gas. I was in there giggling inwardly, as it seemed like I was in the campfire scene in the movie “Blazing Saddles,” or wondered if someone would blame the sounds on having stepped on a duck, just like Rodney Dangerfield’s character did in “Caddyshack.”
Not so any more. No audio experience in the recovery room. Just caring staff checking on your vital signs and when happy, giving you the thumbs up to go home.
The staff would be hard pressed to get any more efficient.
Again, the procedure should not scare anyone from having it done. It really could save your life if they catch colon cancer at an early stage.
