The grieving process can be different for everyone. One might want to be surrounded by supportive friends and family and others might need quiet time and space. It may take months, it may take years.
A registered nurse for 27 years from Sarnia, with 20 years experience in palliative and hospice care, has come up with a unique and respectful way for people to let others know they are grieving without having to say the words.
Heather Taylor created the Grieving Pin, a black label pin in the shape of a ribbon similar to yellow ribbons denoting support for cancer patients. It has the word “grieving” on it so that others will understand the bearer is still going through the process, “in a world where the pace is quickening but grief is not.”
The pins are available exclusively at Denning’s Funeral Home in Chatham, two per person, and if someone would like more than two, a $5 donation per pin is requested to keep the program going.
Jacob Rowe, Managing Funeral Director at Denning’s, said he is pleased to be part of Taylor’s initiative and people are welcome to drop by the Victoria Avenue business during the day to inquire about the pins.
Rowe said he sees people grieving every day and the pin is a tangible way to express that grief whether it be a month or several years.
“There was a time, not that long ago, when grieving was something public. People wore black armbands, or dressed entirely in black, to signify that they had lost someone close to them,” Taylor said in her explanation of the pin. “Those around them knew and understood. No words were needed.”
Today, she noted, grieving has become more private, and “largely invisible.” People all around us may be carrying the pain of loss, but we have no way to know and offer support and sympathy.
“The losses we experience take time to absorb and adjust to. There are some days when our grief feels overwhelming, and even ordinary activities can seem impossible to accomplish. Special days and anniversaries can bring the pain crashing back to the surface,” Taylor noted.
In wearing the pin, people can communicate to others without having to say it that they are having a difficult day and the people around them can give them the support needed.
“It is an invitation to gentle interactions and respectful support – a kind word, a hug or sharing a memory of the one who has died,” Taylor said. “On a day when ordinary tasks may be difficult, this pin invites compassion, patience and understanding as an individual walks the difficult path of grieving,” the nurse explained.
Taylor, a co-founder of a suicide loss support group, wanted to help people she sees every day to see that their journey was personal and would take whatever form it needed to go on the way to healing.
“One of the moms said she wished she had something that said, ‘I am not OK today. Please be kind and understand I am not at my best,’” Taylor noted of her inspiration for the pin. “I kept thinking how can help?”
After the first 100 pins were created and donated, Taylor was being asked where people could get them. The first 1,000 she ordered with donations were gone in two weeks, and now has 2,500 more pins out in Sarnia and Chatham.
Anyone interested in the pins or making a donation can contact Taylor at After a Loss at 1-888-245-3997 or e-mail heather@afteraloss.com. Pins are currently available at Dennings in Chatham while supplies last.
