For Vickie Trickett, strong women who have overcome obstacles to thrive and inspire others deserve to be recognized.
And what better way to do that than to mix her own retro-couture fashion shop with a calendar shoot for a charity that helps women who need a safe haven so they can go on to thrive and inspire?
“It was one of those things. The first part was wanting to give back to the community,” said the owner of Lady Blackbird Boutique and Tattoos by Vickie. “I was talking to a few friends and came up with doing a calendar with models and a retro ’50s theme. And second, why not do it for a charity here in town?”
As a woman who escaped an abusive situation when she was younger, Trickett said the Chatham-Kent Women’s Centre caught her attention.
“I didn’t know too much about the women’s centre, but the more I looked into it, the more it seemed perfect,” she noted.
Using clothes from her shop, the business women figured if they were going to be dealing with inspiring women, she wanted the theme to be vintage and classy, not only dressing the models up, but doing hair, make-up and jewelry in the retro style as well.
The perfect backdrop for the shoot was provided by The Retro Suites in downtown Chatham, a place that had the right vibe and classy retro chic decor.
In picking the women for the 12-month calendar, Trickett said she took her time finding ladies who were inspiring to the community.
“I tried to find women that were inspiring to Chatham-Kent and women who inspire me,” she said. “Some people don’t know who they are, but they inspired me.”
Women in the calendar include police officer and organ donor advocate Lynette Hodder, and East Side Pride founder Marjorie Crew.
Trickett said the bios with the pictures were too short to do the women justice but said with two of the women, she doesn’t know how they are still strong given everything they have gone through.
The whole shoot, she said, showed the women that they can go a bit out of their comfort zone and really get into the retro persona they dressed up as in a classy way as opposed to the pin-up style.
“These are strong, determined and classy women and you don’t need to be sexy to be inspirational. It was so incredible to see them go from everyday to pampered and luxurious,” Trickett said with a smile. “A lot of them were shocked at the transformation.”
Even when there were some nerves involved, Trickett said once the models got comfortable, the shoot went very well and everyone had a good experience.
The shop owner said she was asked many times why she chose to do the calendar, and she doesn’t shy away from telling her own painful story of abuse and the shame and feeling of isolation that comes with it.
“I was terrified. I didn’t want anyone to know,” Trickett said of her experience in an abusive relationship. “You turn into nothing and it becomes your regular routine. You worry about leaving and how to start over and you start to think maybe you are nothing.”
In her own situation while living in Eastern Ontario, Trickett was not only physically and mentally abused by her partner, she said she was also sexually assaulted by a police officer she assumed she could trust who offered to give her a ride home in the rain, only to go home and be blamed for the assault.
When asked how she found the strength to get out of her situation, Trickett said she got to a place mentally to make the break.
“You have to keep the mindset that you are still a good person and know right from wrong and you don’t drown, you get yourself back up there,” she explained. “The only way I was able to leave is that he was picked up by the police and I had two days to pack whatever I could fit in a backpack and get out.”
She said for victims of abuse, they constantly have to answer the question of why they stayed as long as they did.
“It’s easy for people on the outside to ask why you stayed,” Trickett observed. “I went from Ottawa to Toronto and had to live on the streets for three to four months. I didn’t feel like I could go home and was worried about what my family would say. I was a strong-willed child and nobody was going to tell me what I do.”
In the relationship, she was worn down over time, being told what to wear, how much make-up she could put on, was called constantly at work and accused of infidelity if she even made eye contact with another male.
“It was a control thing. There were a lot of trips to the hospital and I didn’t want to say anything. There was a lot of evasion until everyone knows that you are lying,” Trickett said. “I wasn’t allowed to speak my mind and ended up with a lot of repressed anger.”
With places like the women’s centre, Trickett said, women have a safe place to go that is private and supportive and helps deal with all the fears and questions about the future.
Now in a relationship with a supportive and loving partner, Trickett has put her past behind her, but draws strength from the fact she survived and she got out.
“Every woman needs my man. He is beyond what I thought I deserved; loving and caring,” Trickett said with a big grin on her face. “He was put in front of me for a reason and not at all who people might expect me to be with, but he is perfect.”
The shop owner wants women to know that if you leave, there is so much more out there for them and the supports they need to get there.
In doing the calendar project, Trickett got a great deal of support from the community, with hair, make-up, photography and the sponsors who helped make the calendar possible.
The calendar is $25 and can be picked up at the women’s centre or at Lady Blackbird Boutique on Fourth Street. If the sales go well, Trickett said she is considering doing a calendar again.
