“Who will speak for you if you can’t speak for yourself?”
It may be one of the most difficult discussions you will have with your family, but it is one of the most important, according to the organizers behind National Advance Care Planning Day April 16.
Michelle O’Rourke, recently retired from the position as Integrated Program Co-ordinator for the Chatham-Kent Hospice and the CKHA Palliative Care and Oncology Departments; and Vivianne De Witte, recently retired as the Integrated Clinical Coordinator for the Chatham-Kent Hospice and the CKHA Palliative Care and Oncology Departments, are sharing their knowledge of this topic at two seminars next week.
The duo will explain what advance-care planning is and will have free materials there for people to take with them so that they can begin to look at their own planning and speak to their loved ones and health care providers about their wishes and what’s important to them.
The seminars, April 12 at 6:30 p.m. and April 14 at 10 a.m., are sponsored by the Erie St. Clair LHIN and will be held at the Active Lifestyle Centre on Merritt Avenue in Chatham.
“People think they always have time to have these conversations but we need to have these conversations when we’re well and we’re not in a medical crisis,” O’Rourke noted.
After working in the ER department for 30 years, she often had to ask family if they knew their loved ones wishes, and too many times, the answer was no.
O’Rourke said Advance Care Planning is a process of reflection and communication and really about being proactive. It is a time for you to reflect on your values and wishes, and to let people know what kind of health and personal care you would want in the future if you were unable to speak for yourself.
She said it means having discussions with family and friends, especially your Substitute Decision Maker – the person who will speak for you if you cannot speak for yourself. It may also include writing down your wishes and talking with health-care providers and financial or legal professionals.
“Having this conversation, it helps with anxiety in the family because you never know if something is going to happen and we won’t be able to speak for ourselves – a car accident or a stroke – that’s why it’s important for people of any age, not just older people or people who have cancer or people who are dying,” O’Rourke noted.
It’s also about a change in culture, the former hospice program co-ordinator said. It’s helping people not to be afraid to talk about death and dying, and to talk about what’s important. Advance care planning doesn’t require decisions to be made right now, but to make sure your loved ones know what is important to you if you can’t speak for yourself.
Rules in Ontario are different under the Ontario Health Care Consent Act, according to O’Rourke, who said it ensures there is a hierarchy of people who will speak for you if you can’t speak for yourself, and ranges from spouse to children to siblings.
“If you have four kids but you only want the oldest daughter to speak for you because the others don’t agree with your wishes, you have to name that person as your Power of Attorney. Legally in Ontario, you don’t always need a Power of Attorney but if you want a specific person you have to name them and we will be talking about that at the sessions,” she said. “In Ontario, a piece of paper is not consent. Consent has to come from a person, so as a nurse or physician in a hospital, if I can’t get consent from you yourself, legally, I have to speak to your substitute decision maker or whoever is highest in the pecking order of hierarchy.”
Having someone you trust who knows your wishes can take a lot of anxiety and stress off family members and O’Rourke said that can also help with the grieving process after a loved one dies.
More information about Advance Care Planning in Ontario and a workbook to help you start a conversation with your family can be found at speakupontario.ca, or people are encouraged to attend one of the two sessions at the Active Lifestyle Centre for advice and resources.
